I dislike being called a perfectionist, because I know I am not one. The term ‘perfection’ (in my head) is related to ‘ideal’, and all I’ve ever strived for was the best possible outcome while respecting the circumstances. Failure to recognise the exact point that the outcome has been satisfactorily achieved has been the challenge.
I may have done things or may have been a certain way since childhood that may have caused people to expect a certain standard of me - those expectations, in turn, causing me to (rather strictly) question whether I am delivering the best possible outcome - a vicious circle.
Somewhere along the way, I started realising that I was okay to leave things undone rather than do them without being fully happy with the output. Of course, those things that are non-negotiable, like big decisions and expected deliverables in various life stages (school, job, marriage, parenthood, etc.) have had to be done; and everything that seems optional/postponable has not been done because I have obsessed over doing it the best way I can. There is almost a stigma I have attached to something that bears my name that I know I could have done a better job of.
It doesn’t seem worth it. Maybe it’s okay to do an okay job if it results in positive emotion, than not do it at all dreading the echo of what it could have been.
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