I SWEAR (IN)

Swelling with positive reinforcement, to see that a common man without a political background (armed with honesty and intelligence) can rise above cynicism, hate, and negative propaganda - with the will to make a difference to our country! Thank you to my fellow Indian citizens in Delhi, for giving me the opportunity to experience this moment of extreme pride and humility at the same time! ‪#‎IAmArvind‬

FIFA WC 2010 FINAL - PAUL Vs MANI

I am totally tickled by the global popularity achieved by Paul the Octopus and Mani the Parakeet. While the former is an international, death-threat-receiving celebrity, the latter is a relatively less famous Singaporean 'psychic bird'. Both of them hit the headlines because of their ability to "predict" the outcomes of the FIFA 2010 World Cup matches. But the grand final promises to reveal who the real king is - Paul has chosen Spain to win FIFA WC 2010, while Mani has picked Holland!

So, will it be Paul or Mani? (more interesting for me than the outcome of the match itself!)

While we wait to find out, check out this video of yet another animal prophet, this time an amateur cocker spaniel - Leone the Psychic Dog. (My favourite part is between 1:17 and 1:28 - when the owner spins Leone around, counting from one to ten - ha ha!)



I hear the KiLi Josiyars Association of Tamil Nadu is planning to send a contingent of parrots & their owners to the 2011 Cricket World Cup.

CONSEQUENCE OF FAILURE

I was shocked to read that the President of Nigeria has banned the Nigerian national football team from playing in international tournaments for two years because of their dismal performance in the 2010 FIFA World Cup. This reminded me of an engineering college administrator who used to threaten to debar students with many arrears from appearing for next semester's exams! Reward failure with no-return-from-failure!

But then, a bit of googling pointed me to worse consequences that other footballing nations have faced in the past:
* The Ivory Coast team was held for three days in a military camp after being eliminated in the first round of the African Cup of Nations.
* North Korean footballers were allegedly sent to labour camps after on-field debacles, and are likely to come under fire from their "Dear Leader" for their huge-margin losses in the 2010 FIFA World Cup.
* And the most draconian of them all - Iraqi players' punishments included flogging (with electric cables), baths in raw sewage, feet whipping (with thorns), and more.

Qualifying for the World Cup finals is no mean task, especially for the weaker footballing nations. Players struggle in difficult social and economic conditions to rise and perform at the international level. Instead of encouraging their team's achievements and providing them the support they need, ruthless governments shame and humiliate them. On the other hand, I also read that the English footballers are vacationing with their families and girlfriends after their humiliating first-round exit from the 2010 FIFA World Cup!

Whose fault for being born in the wrong country?

FRAUDIAN PRINCIPLES

July 6, 2008 - Extracts from the Satyam.com website one day before Satyam chairman Ramalinga Raju confessed to a $823-million fraud.
Link: http://www.satyam.com/about/board_of_directors.asp

Ramalinga Raju, also known as Raju, is Satyam’s founder and chairman. Raju is a world-renowned visionary, global business leader, and thinker. He uses a simple, yet extensive management model to create value, which promotes entrepreneurship, a focus on the customer, and the constant pursuit of excellence...

Raju has an MBA from Ohio University, and is an alumnus of the Harvard Business School. He has won numerous awards not only for building a best-in-class business but also taking innovative steps to positively impact the society...

A voracious reader, Raju is deeply influenced by science. He has adopted several scientific principles in running business operations.

Scientific principles indeed.

SPOT THE DIFFERENCES

Everybody has a reason to indulge in violence - call it "fanaticism", "political mileage", "power games", "cause", "struggle for liberation"... Who is to ascertain whose violence is justified?

But how can any violence that results in intended harm towards innocent people EVER be justified? Must their perpetrators not be crushed like a cigarette stub? Vile beasts.

IT HAPPENS ONLY IN ZIMBABWE

Imagine what it would be like if:

- You went to a store to buy something and found that the price had more than doubled in a single day. And in the next few hours you spend at the bank to withdraw more money, the price continued to double or even triple! [click link to read story]

- Banks limited daily cash withdrawals to an amount which is less than the cost of a loaf of bread!

- Something that costs Rs. 100 today cost over Rs. 6,00,000 tomorrow! Because the inflation rate is 231 million percent!!!

We talk about one rupee coins, ten rupee notes, even hundred rupee notes losing value as years go by. In Zimbabwe, million dollar rupee notes lose value as days go by! Suddenly, I'm happy being in a 12% inflation country!

INTERESTING PREMIER LEAGUE

Just when it seemed like news channels were the biggest source of entertainment on TV, the Indian Premier League (IPL) has taken that place!

TEAMS AND NAMES

During my stay in the US, I was fascinated by the interest people showed in "city-level and school-level games", often, more than international-level games. IPL is (somewhat) doing that for Indian crowds. I mean, who ever proudly wore a Tamilnadu or a Rajasthan jersey to watch their team play in a Ranji Trophy tournament? But again, who ever went to watch a Ranji Trophy match?

But what horrible team names! If Punjab players are Kings, Chennai players are Super Kings. I've heard of emperor, but what is a "Super King" - haha! On second thoughts, it is maybe because "super" (or should I say sooppar)is the most popular adjective used by Thamizh speakers. Bangalore is a team calling themselves "Challengers" and not "Winners" - wah, what modesty! Shittiest name, though, is Mumbai Indians (how come Raj Thackeray isn't demanding they change it to Mumbai Maharashtrians?)

Okay, can't resist this quick PJ: What if Nokia had bought the Hyderabad team and not Deccan Herald? They would then have been called Nokia Chargers - haha!

I would have really liked Indian players to represent their home states, though. It messes with my mind map that Robin Uthappa doesn't play for Bangalore and Harbhajan doesn't for Punjab. I like the fact Muralitharan is playing for Chennai, though :-)

Bangalore Royal Challengers Vs Chennai Super Kings promises to be The Rivalry of IPL, comparable to India Vs Pakistan! Can't wait to see unruly crowds throwing empty water bottles at Hayden and Kallis because the Tamilnadu government decides to pursue the Hogenekkal project! Wow - what fun!

GLAMOUR GAMES

The concept of glamour-cricket is certainly innovative. Almost every team has a star mascot. Instead of Vijay, I wish Trisha was the mascot of the team I support - Chennai Super Kings (I like Trisha in casual wear). And the cheerleaders are definitely doing for IPL what Mandira Bedi did for the World Cup - building true interest in the game, I mean. Would be nice to see more local talent (such as our cinema item girls) instead of imported girls doing the same aerobic routines to both Bhangra and Dappaankuthu.

The funniest shock was when the Delhi Daredevils were playing their first match, and someone suddenly flew into the stadium hanging from a cable! Just when I couldn't believe that streakers in sports events had gone so hi-tech... Akshay Kumar!!

Regular people like you and me play book cricket, stick cricket, and fantasy cricket. People like Shah Rukh and Preity Zinta play their own teams!

CRICKET, TECHNICALLY

It is amazing to see some interesting face-offs like Shane Warne Vs Monkeyman, Jayasuriya Vs Murali etc. Also to see Team India players face off against each other. Not the way Sreesanth and Harbhajan did, though. Slapping, sobbing, calling each other "brother" - this pair has a bright future in reality television.

I don't want Sachin to play Twenty20 cricket; something tells me he won't click! I love him too much to see him fail! My children someday should not laugh at his Twenty20 innings the way I laugh at Sunil Gavaskar's 36 not out off 174 balls (his "famous" one-day innings in the 1975 World Cup).

[Deep down desire: I want Sachin to play and prove he's the best in this format too]

Highest sixes award for each match, orange cap for highest runs... what about the bowlers? Bowlers should protest this discrimination... seriously!

I am shocked to see players on the field being questioned from the commentator's box (using ear mic) as the match is on, between deliveries. What a distraction - how are teams okay with this?

Good or bad for cricket, there's no denying that Twenty20 is great entertainment!

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Before I close, I'd like us all to stand in silence for 2 minutes to mourn the shunned "real pioneers" of this concept in India - the Indian Cricket League (ICL).

ROACH APPROACH

I suggest that our Hon'ble Union Minister for Railways, Shri Lalu Prasad, read this article on cockroach scarcity in India.

Click here to read article.

Excerpt: All over the country, colleges that offer biology courses are paying 50-100 times more to buy cockroaches for students to carry out their dissection practicals. Most suppliers today charge anywhere between Rs 5 to 10 per cockroach. Three years ago, colleges were paying Rs 15 for a bunch of 100 cockroaches.

Who would've thought there'd be a dearth of cockroaches for biology students performing dissection?! I mean, what is India coming to when an average biology student cannot have a basic minimum of 2 cockroaches per lab class?

At the current selling rate of Rs. 10 per cockroach, this is a must-not-miss opportunity for Indian Railways to triple profits in 2008!!

Idea courtesy my sleeper class experience in Chennai Mail over the weekend.

FLYING INTO SOUP

Why is the government giving away Arjuna Awards to sportsmen instead of people like these (click here) who jump off terraces after watching the movie Krrish? Do these people have at least pimple-sized brains?

Watched a ludicrous news report about how this movie "is having a negative effect on youth, and carrying the wrong message across"! I wonder in which scene Hrithik requests people to fly out from their balconies. How long will people keep blaming movies for influencing them? (As long as movies exist, I guess)

If anyone says that children are "spoiled" by watching movies like Krrish, they should stop letting their children watch Tom & Jerry - where scenes of fighting/sabotage/scheming/exploding are common. Can one say that visuals such as this (click here) influence the child's mind to hurt humans and treat animals badly?

WHOSE LIFE IS IT ANYWAY?

Acid-throwing is not a new type of cannibalism. However, the recent case of Joseph Rodrigues who threw acid on a 20-year-old girl, destroying her eyesight and disfiguring her (couldn't digest my food after seeing her face) is disturbing, more for the court judgement than the incident itself.

A sessions court in Karnataka had sentenced him to a mere five-year jail term and imposed a fine of Rs. 3 lakh for "voluntarily causing grievous hurt by dangerous weapon or means". On further appeal, just last week, Rodrigues was sentenced to life imprisonment for "attempt to murder".

You learn something new every day. I learnt yesterday that "life imprisonment" does not really mean "imprisonment for life", and the convict is not jailed till he/she dies. It is only a stipulated number of years. Supreme Court says, "it must be treated as imprisonment for the whole of the remaining period of the convict's natural life".

So what about the remaining period of the victim's natural life? Click here for the 'Before-After' picture of the girl. Her name, ironically, is Haseena.

But then, what can I say when even a rape convict in this country gets away with five or ten years' imprisonment. Will anything less than methodical slicing of the convicts' penises in full public display suffice? That too after his entire property is sold off, made to work like a dog and the money given to the victim. None of this makes the victim's life better, but it will serve as deterrent to many such vile monsters.

CALL CENTERED

"Another BPO Employee Murdered", "Call Centre Girl Killed" scream newspapers. Such a big deal is made out of the murder of Tania Banerjee. Agreed that murder is ghastly. And that the woman's end is pitiful. But why link this to the call centre industry?

The media seems to want to play up the "night shifts are unsafe for girls" tune rather loudly. At least when Pratibha Murthy was raped and killed last year by her company's cab driver, there was genuine concern about security. Several constructive discussions took place, and measures taken to tighten security for women. But in Tania's case, there was no reason to have pulled up her company's name, as she was murdered by a deranged colleague (full story here) and this could've happened to anyone working in any industry.

Night shifts are not a new phenomenon. There have been doctors, nurses, airline staff, and several other professionals who have been working in unearthly shifts much before the acronym BPO was even coined! Why no brouhaha then?

Would it then be fair to say that the media is jealous of the money and employment opportunities that outsourcing companies are bringing to India?

BEETHOVEN BLOGGING

Use: http://www.pkblogs.com/vineshks if you cannot access my blog.

E-mails are pouring in - where's your blog gone, why have you taken your blog offline, they ask. What shall I tell them - my poor readers in India?

That their government chops off hands to clean fingernail dirt?
That freedom of speech makes politicians laugh loud?
That blokes who think the internet is available in kilos form their IT ministry?

Someone told them that terrorists use blogs to spread terror. So they banned blogs!

Click here to read news stories on the Indian government's gross violation of the freedom of speech

Tomorrow...
Phones will be banned because terrorists use phones!
Computers will be banned because terrorists use computers!!
Road travel will be banned because terrorists travel freely on roads!!!

The bizarre thing is, being in India, I can blog now but cannot view my own blog without a proxy.
I feel like Beethoven, who could compose music, but was stone deaf!

LE BUTT DE HEAD

Last night saw a brilliant display of football from Zinedine Zidane, who scored an unbelievable header in the dying minutes of the FIFA final. Truly a mark of genius.

Some say Materazzi hurled racist abuses at Zidane, some say they called him a terrorist, while from the video, it seemed to me as if Materazzi clutched Zidane's boob. Click here to watch video of the header of the tournament.

Apparently, Materazzi isn't the cleanest of players. Click here to see a video of Materazzi's dirty football history.

And it isn't as if Zidane has had a clean sheet in the past either. Playing for Juventus, he headbutted Jochen Kientz in a Champions League match. In 1998, he was red carded for stomping on a Saudi Arabian player.

Like everybody else, I am waiting for Zizou to talk about the incident.

DIVORCE OF CONVENIENCE

Everybody is talking about Aftab Ansari who uttered 'talaq' three times in his sleep after quarrelling with the wife, and is now being forced to separate from her.
Read full story here

I always found this "convenience" hilarious and male chauvinistic until I read this catch: "...the only alternative was temporary separation for 100 days during which the wife will live at her father's house and spend a night with another man." Probably the people who made these laws were also the ones to start making B-grade erotic movies! :-D

I wish rather that people who are in love could get married that easily - by uttering the word 'shaadi' three times! No stupid caste, financial status, religion in the way!

Now that would wonderfully re-define the meaning of the phrase "marriage of convenience", wouldn't it?

THIS TOO SHALL PASS AWAY

Woman marries against parents' wishes. Husband dies shortly of cancer. No offspring.
Woman has marriage #2 which soon fails. Still no offspring.
Woman seeks solace in her job as school teacher, surrounded by children.
Woman forced to take up retirement due to age.
Woman conceives test-tube baby at age 62. Becomes one of the oldest first-time mothers.

I read an interview she gave to a magazine where she expressed hope that she would live at least until her son was 20, and could take care of himself.

A few days ago, here's what happened:
Read Story

It's the saddest thing I've read in recent times. My heart is very heavy.

SELLING SKIN

An unusual sight greeted me (startled me is more like it) this morning when I was going through The Hindu. I usually flip through all the pages once (like a promo or a trailer before I actually see the movie) and this picture of a lady with some words sketched on her forehead caught my eye. She resembled some crazy football fan who had painted the name of her favourite team on her face.

The real shock was to read that she had auctioned off the "advertising space" on her forehead on eBay, and the words GOLDENPALACE.COM had been tattooed permanently on her forehead for $10,000 dollars!!! The story went on to say that she did it to pay for her son's school fees!

On reading that GoldenPalace.com has a history of such bizarre advertising stunts, my curiosity was tickled and I did a little Google search. Here is the result of that search, and you get to read of mothers-to-be tattooing the website name on their pregnant tummies (ewww), streakers brandishing the website name on their "- - - -" and people changing their name (!!!) to GoldenPalace.com. All for money ranging from $1,000 to $30,000. Can you imagine that?? Absolutely shocking! Maybe it won't be such a bad idea to name my kids Yahoo and Google after all!

On a serious note, this incident has disturbed me a lot. I keep getting this woman's image in front of my eyes all the time.. Read her whole story here. I truly don't know what to say, or feel.