I understand that a major chunk of Indian television suffers from CAATS (Compulsive Aping of American Television Syndrome), a terrible byproduct of which is the concept of reality television, but am beginning to get really confused about what is classified as a "reality show" anymore! Even singing competitions are being advertised as "reality shows"!
Four ways to turn a harmless singing/dancing/quiz contest into a reality show:
1. Kindle a fight between the judges. Make one of them leave the stage, and send a group of people to pacify and bring him/her back (in between two commercial breaks and SMS voting).
2. Show participants' mothers feeding them laddus at home praying for their victory, local residents holding placards with the participants' names cheering for them, participants begging for votes of the public, and close-ups of participants shedding tears (in slow motion and montage versions) after they've lost.
3. Chase participants into changing rooms, lobbies, lavatories - or better still, place hidden cameras in these places. If any participant exposes too much skin, use a 1 mm thin black strip to cover the exposed area. Use a short "beep" sound leaving the "fff..." and the "...kkk" sound audible and pretend no one will guess the expletive.
4. If the host of the show is a celebrity, make the partipants scream, hug, kiss, and even wet their pants in excitement. Bring out the "human" side of celebrities, such as giving Salman Khan a suit to wear and also a bath towel he can rub across his genitals in the name of dance.
Sports events have become reality shows. Take for example Harbhajan Singh's irreverence to opponents' mothers and fascination for slapping totally dominating cricket news; or how cricket, hockey, tennis, and gulli danda have become infested with allegations of match-fixing!
Hmm.. that leaves just the News. Oh wait, I'll be back after sms-ing my reply to "Do you think Dr. Rajesh Talwar murdered his daughter Aarushi?" viewers' poll. I know my opinion counts.