Friday, July 08, 2005
I was watching the Tamil movie SACHEIN. Bipasha Basu gets down from the "hot" bike ride with Vijay, pouts her lips, gives a seductive look, and says something to him, but you dont hear the words!!!
*SNIP SNIP SNIP*
You know that the censor's scissors have been at work. Logically, this leads the audience to believe that something indecent has been uttered. Now, if the actual words had been permitted, there would have been only one implication. Now that the audience is left guessing, there are multiple inferences!!
The Censor Board has once again successfully triggered off the prurient imagination of the general public!
American television has this habit of sounding a *BEEP* when someone says something offensive. As kids, when we used to watch WWF Wrestling, Stone Cold would say "I'm gonna take this microphone and stuff it up your candy *BEEEEEEEP*", we knew from the close-up lip movement the expletive he was uttering!
Back to our movies, vulgar song lines are either muted or replaced by other ridiculous words (like "Lovely Lovely Lovely" instead of "Sexy Sexy Sexy" - the famous Karishma Kapoor song-dance back in the 90's remember?)("Malleri Malle Malle" instead of "Malle Marudha Mala"). Censor guys, what are you thinking? You aren't curbing double entendre. You are giving possibilites for triple, quadruple entendre!! Film directors are only too happy to comply with the "muting" because their purpose of conveying the sexually suggestive remark has been served, and that too with a clean U certificate!
Outside cinema halls, if you've observed the notice boards, you will sometimes find pin-ups of the list of cuts the movie has undergone. I really don't know why this is done! On one hand, you are cutting something because the lewd idea should not reach the audience, and on the other, you are displaying graphic descriptions of the same lewdness?
The Central Board of Film Certification has its official website, where, amongst other information, you have the detailed description of every single cut in almost every single Indian movie! I don't care if you call me perverted, but I personally found the written content in that site more titillating than many steamy scenes I've watched in movies.
Examples of Cut List Details (Caution: Contains offensive material. Please skip if easily offended):
SUKRAN (Tamil) -  VAYASU PASANGA (Tamil) -  AITBAAR (Hindi)
Find the entire list here
CENSORSHIP HAS ALWAYS BEEN A BIG JOKE! NOW I'M CONVINCED IT IS A TOTAL FARCE!
P.S: For those of you still wondering what Bipasha told Vijay (hehe), click here (Caution: Contains offensive material)