VOICE FADE

One day (a couple of years ago), I realised I'd forgotten Daddy's voice. Yes, it had been (at that time) almost 20 years since I last heard him and I was 14 at that time - but how could I forget? I didn't think it was possible. Especially since I thought his sudden demise would have made me latch on to every possible sensory memory about him - for as long as I could. Was this all as long as I could?

I felt it must be a temporary blur - maybe I was sleepy. Tired. Or maybe there were too many other things on my mind. I tried to remember incidents where I could recall his exact words and tried to say them as I thought he might have said them. How could I validate it, though? I could even remember him singing. And the way he sang certain phrases. But not his actual voice! As the weekend dissipated in exasperation, I had to sadly admit... that... I had indeed forgotten his voice.

I tried to contact some relatives, family friends, people I hoped may have a recording of any of their life events (in which, hopefully, Daddy had participated). Managed to track down some visuals, but no audio. Or background music drowning natural sound.

I am happy, though, that I remember him in spirit. And that I have vivid visual memory of some incidents. And lessons (that I realised were lessons after he died).

My only joy in extended family events is when someone recalls him or says I am like him in ways they remember.

He would have been 63 today.