One of my biggest nightmares since the time I got married (um.. I mean..) has been trying to open a savings account with State Bank of India. I made the natural mistake of desiring their services because they have the largest number of ATMs in India. It is probably this arrogance (only equalled by BSNL - hmm.. I see a pattern here) that is responsible for their utter contempt for your business.
I don't care if the particular branch I went to had exceptionally bad staff, because they all work for SBI and they fetch their (dis)organisation a bad name.
SBI has a manager who makes you feel ashamed for asking what documents are required to open an account.
SBI will pretend not to process your application without the reference of an existing SBI account holder - oh wait, unless they have a Savings Account Mobilisation Campaign where you need to do is stand in front of them, and the passbook will be stuffed in your palm.
SBI will courier you the ATM card but hand over the PIN only at the bank due to "security reasons". Even if their mistrust of courier companies is forgivable, their asking you to "keep coming back to the bank to check if the PIN has arrived" is not.
If you ask the concerned ('concerned' as in 'appropriate', not 'worried about you') person why there is such delay in generating PINs, she will slap her forehead, make a disgusted expression and say, "Ptch.. what to do sir, sooooo many people are opening new accounts with us". Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that ma'am - my deepest condolences.
Oh, the merriment of their internet banking service! SBI will courier you the username and password separately (suddenly, courier companies can be trusted!) with the warning that if you don't receive both within 7 days of each other, you must contact the branch. And if you accidentally receive both, you will find out that the combination does not work, and you still have to go back to the branch (where you will be issued a fresh set). I so love follow-the-secret-trail games!
The cashier will scream at you if you try to make a payment beyond his "come back on a weekday" command since "crowds are terrible on Saturdays". Is there a concession for bearing the brunt of their frustration at being understaffed?
In the meanwhile, I was successfully able to open two accounts - one with the World Bank and one with Fort Knox. And I hadn't even seen their advertisements on TV asking the younger generation to trust them because their fathers and grandfathers did!