Friday, September 01, 2006

JOLLY OL' FELLA


This chat happened five years ago - found this today, saved up in an old folder.

Trying to play the ever-empathetic nice fella, I (jolly_ol_fella) decided to go to the Depression Support Room in Yahoo Chat, to try raise some cheer. I meet this person im_blue.

jolly_ol_fella: Hi!
im_blue :Hi

I noticed that this person had a very weak font. My sharp eyes also deftly caught the absence of the exclamation mark. Lack of enthusiasm. I figured this person was really down...

jolly_ol_fella:Really in the dumps ah?
im_blue :Yeah, your not messin with me r u?
jolly_ol_fella:Hey?
jolly_ol_fella:Cool it!
im_blue :Sorry. Too many people have taken advantage of my honesty

I felt pity. Life had surely been harsh on him/her. It showed....

jolly_ol_fella:Relax ....I've been there...know how it feels
im_blue :You do?
jolly_ol_fella:Why do ya think I keep smilin all the time
im_blue :I have major problems
jolly_ol_fella:U cud talk to me.....
jolly_ol_fella: ....if ya wanna
im_blue :Really?
jolly_ol_fella:F course..what r frendz 4?
im_blue :How old r u first?

Uh-oh! This conversation was building up just fine. I didn't want to destroy it. I hesitated, but then decided there was no way I could find out what he/she wanted.

jolly_ol_fella:I'm 19, but I hope that wont disqualify me!
im_blue :I'm 19
jolly_ol_fella:Good. Go on...
im_blue :Well, it's my grandpa..
jolly_ol_fella:Yes?
im_blue :I live with my grandparent and he's losin his mind
jolly_ol_fella:What exactly IS the prob?
im_blue :He keeps tellin me that I'm adopted and that my mom is a whore
im_blue :I don't know if I'm adopted

Tsk, tsk....what a sad state, I thought to myself. I wanted to know more about this guy who didn't know anything about himself...

jolly_ol_fella:Are u studying now or working?
im_blue :Studying
jolly_ol_fella:And your Grandpa pays 4 it?
im_blue :Yeah he pays for it
im_blue :And....well I can't say it nevermind
jolly_ol_fella:What?
jolly_ol_fella:Come on ...talk
im_blue :Its gross..
jolly_ol_fella:If it helps ya feel better
im_blue :Well okay!

Pouring out one's worries was the best way to feel better. I was proud of myself! I was making this person feel better already!

im_blue :I walked in my room and he was on my bed with my clothes on

Oops!

jolly_ol_fella:Er....are u a girl?
im_blue :No I'm a guy
jolly_ol_fella:Ok
im_blue :And I turned around and ran..and he was yelling at me...
jolly_ol_fella:What does he want from you
im_blue :He tried to touch me!
im_blue :I didn't know what to do
jolly_ol_fella:Oh god!
im_blue :He's a lot bigger than me

I wanted to help him out. But how could I?

jolly_ol_fella:Do u have someone really close u can talk to bout this to?
jolly_ol_fella:In ur vicinity I mean
im_blue :No one
im_blue :My parents are gone
im_blue :That's why I live with him
im_blue :Anyways, all I could think to do is grab the poker from the fireplace and hit him with it....

I was still thinking of ways this poor guy could be freed from his horrible gay grandpa.

jolly_ol_fella:Any way that u can live elsewhere...and work 4 ur money?
im_blue :I can't get a job
jolly_ol_fella:Why not?
im_blue :I have a bad back and I can't stand for more that 10 minutes at a time

Tsk, tsk...did God have to give this guy EVERY kind of trouble?

jolly_ol_fella:I'm sorry...
jolly_ol_fella:Are you religious, im_blue ?
im_blue :No, god doesn't love me
im_blue :Anyways, I didn't realize how hard I hit him

I had almost forgotten that he was telling me about that scuffle with his grandfather.

jolly_ol_fella:What happ. to him?
im_blue :I can't really say
jolly_ol_fella: **WHAT?????**
im_blue :Now u see y im so depressed
jolly_ol_fella:When did this happen
im_blue :Last week
jolly_ol_fella:And what d u mean u can't say
jolly_ol_fella:How is he?
im_blue :Umm..not good to say the least
im_blue :He's dead, so I dumped him off in a field

*BLANK*

jolly_ol_fella:I dunno what to say!
im_blue :YOU HAVE JUST BEEN BUZZKILLED U SICK F***ER!!!

Wha???
jolly_ol_fella:Is this a joke im_blue?
im_blue :JUST F**ING WITH YOU, GET A LIFE DUMBASS
im_blue :That'll teach you to bother about other people!
jolly_ol_fella:That was good. I must say u were pretty convincing
im_blue :Thanks, well..later dude..
jolly_ol_fella:With a great sense of humour, what r u doing in this room?
jolly_ol_fella: ?
im_blue :F***ing with people

At that moment, everything became clear to me! Different folks came to different chatrooms for different purposes.

jolly_ol_fella:I see...
im_blue :Later, I'm gonna screw with fat people in Health and Dieting Room

I didn't feel really good right then. I wanted to cheer someone up, and they'd brought me down. But I was on a mission. I knew it was upto me to save those innocent obese people in the Dieting Room...

(To NOT be continued...)

27 comments:

Srijith Unni said...

That was one very hilarious post, Vinesh..!

Couldn`t help laughing out loudly..
Have been reading your blog for quite some time..I enjoy all your posts.. but this one takes the cake..!

With Best Regards,
Srijith Unni.

Aravind said...

LOL....

Wonder why people get pleasure out of things like these!

mysorean said...

LOL!

Good one Vinesh!

Poor you! Went to help someone out and came back with a bruised eye! ;)

LOL!

maha said...

there r many such insane maniacs around.... poor u!!!

golmaalgopal said...

good one dude....cudn't stop laughin at it... :)

Anonymous said...

hahaha

bye,
hurry.

vipin said...

he he he! life lesson no one!! mind ur own business. interfere only when asked to!

yeomanly said...

:-), Fell as a Prey for your own trap.

Anonymous said...

LMAO...that was funny.....when did this happen?? Dont remember you mentioning this before....

Kishore

monu said...

hmm...
i actually don't get im_blue's humour
psyches me out actually....
poor people who actually sincerely chatted with him....

and vinesh, if u r really interested in helping depressed people, i think there r some NGOs doing that work...may be you could help them
:)

if u r seriously considering that is....i have considered and brushed it aside as other people's sadness rubs off on me..
:)

div said...

lol...

hey u know , even i hav the habit of saving interesting chat conversation .. ;)

Vinesh said...

@Srijith: Thanks Srijith! :-)

@Aravind: Sad, isn't it?

@Adi: Yea, threw me off listening to others' stories for a while!

Vinesh said...

@maha: yea, poor me indeed.. lol

@golmaalgopal: thanks bud..

@hurry: :-)

Vinesh said...

@vipin: yes da, learnt the hard way..

@yeomanly: my own trap?

@kishore: dai, it was on my Scoom website da, this whole transcript I mean...remember that site? :-)

Vinesh said...

@monu: frankly, that's the reason i'm not into "social work" as yet monu. am very easily moved by other people's sad stories. need some mental strength before i can get into it..

@div: haha, have any interesting ones? :-)

kausikram krishnasayee said...

LMHO did u get back at him?

and btb hope to meet you at blogcamp

Orange Fronkey said...

Hehehe.. Poor Vinesh!

I used to kalakkufy the chats long time ago.. It's the price of boredom.. Now that I think abut it, I don't really feel bad about it, cuz many in the chatrooms are ding dongs and they are in there to hvea bit of fun too!

:)

prithz said...

S@#T thing!!!! People dunno wat to do where....

Vinesh said...

@kausikram: i did not. by throwing a stone on dung, the dung splatters on you :-Y

@orange fronkey: i know many people like that too, but this guy was out on a mission!! :-)

@prithz: as long as there are people who are willing to get cheated, there will be cheats :-)

RandomThoughts said...

Hahaha! A really hilarious post!

Enjoyed it thoroughly Vinesh!

Rashmi.

யாத்திரீகன் said...

hmmmm.. itha maathiri ethana dagaalti vaelai naangalum paarthirupom.... ;-) pesama takunu neeyum plate-ai thirupirukalaam

Jeevan said...

Funny chat!

Somu said...

Vinesh,

be happy you did not go into the singles room and end up flirting with a guy !!!
Internet is full of weirdos !

Cheers.

kuttichuvaru said...

enakku Fight Club padam nyabagam varuthu :-) they hav this grps for ppl with different problems!!

Kroopa Shah (Kr00pz) said...

That is a tad freaky!!

.:: Rosh ::. said...

LOL..that was hilarious, sorry u had to deal with it..

mani said...

hi da.. reading ur blog after a long time.. enkitta oru vaarthai sollirunthaa avana irangi vandhu bad words use panni thittirukkalaam.. ennoda vocabulary thaan unakku theriyume.. seri next time sollu.. annan help panren..

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